Historically accurate

Slack-jawed with eyes of wonder, the great-grandchildren of World War II veteran Clyde Hussley listened closely as he recalled his time with 29thInfantry Division and the day his life was saved thanks to a loot box. Hussley, who was just 19 at the time, explained to the kids that his life would have likely ended on D-Day had he not spent the $3.99 beforehand.

“It was a cold and wet morning,” he said, his voice cracked from old age. “The noise of the battle is indescribable. As we got off the boat and stormed the beach, I watched as my best friend Johnny was shredded by Nazi artillery fire. I would have died too, but thankfully my loot box parachuted down which doubled my armor and gave me a flamethrower. You should have seen the kill streak I racked up with that bad boy.”

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At the end of that battle, where more than 4,400 of his brothers in arms died, Hussley said he honored their sacrifice with the traditional practice of tea-bagging his enemies.

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